The A Is Silent

"Miriam?"

Whats in a name?
I don't know if it's not mine.

I know my name is symbolic.
Its the name my parents gave me instead of finding one from the ashes
of my massacred relatives.

My mother didn't want me or my sisters to carry a heavy name.
She wanted a name that had not been snubbed out too early.
She wanted something she liked.
Also, something she would mispronounce.

Like carnival and ridiculous,
my name took on an accent.
And when I heard my mother call me,
I felt her stop on my O and pull on my A.
She had a way of making vowels ring.

Today I almost answered to "Miriam."
I shrugged and pulled back my shoulders.
I could be "Miriam" If I cared.

But I do not care.
I do not pretend to have cares.
Or concerns.
That a woman who does not know me,
sees me as Miriam.

And all the faces for who I was not named,
seem vacant.
Searching for my namesake,
in all the wrong places.

I told you,
my mother-
she just liked the name.