Hanging By A Word

My brother says we are hanging on just by words now.
And I understand.
The currency of having to say the right things, when you have already said all the wrongs.
And darkness always feels so much better than the light.
And you hang on because you believe it'll get dark again.
But, I don't.

I walk away,
and like to leave them hanging on to my words.
my thoughts.
my moments when I'm no longer in them.

But you are perfect, where I am short changed.
you are forgiving, where I am forever reminding.
You are angry, where I am even. in accord.
You are different, where I am always still the same.

My brother says we are pulling apart.
and hanging by words.

But, does he know which ones?

Push Ups

There are rules and you break them into pieces all around me.
I step on fragments that used to be wholes, and hearts..
and now they are shreds, sharp and pointed-
your finger aims where my heart rips.

"How is your exercise going?" You ask,
and I want to stop and move backwards.
Gain my ten pounds back.
stop driving half hour to my trainers house.
start eating Reese pieces in buckets.

You make me want to give up. gain weight and
shed my shit in your most favorite places.

But, I wont. Not this time.
Because I have done that all before. for you.
for those like you,
and I am doing this now for me.
and those like me.

Your finger is so accusing and maddening.
I can't help but feel it throughout my day.

It finds me and points,
and picks.

me apart.

Disappointed

You disappoint.
Like movie popcorn after I have inhaled it all.
Why would someone eat a bag with that much popped fat content?
Why?

You disappoint.
Like your bites when they leave no mark.
And only I know I have been bitten by you.
Why?

You disappoint.
Like my memories.
I remember it all.
The way I used to yell right the hell back.
But why?

When I can say calmly,
you disappoint.

Doesn't that hurt more then any words I can scream at you.

You disappoint.