Two Weeks Today

I took my kids to a party today. Two, actually.
One had a pony but no treats to tempt me.
The other had fried foods for a main course and cupcakes for dessert.
I ate none.
I marveled at how incredible abstinence feels.
How it even has a taste.
It's hard to describe.
It's more sweet then sour.
It feels like being full from the most incredible meal.
It's like "having enough."
I watched the other guests eat.
I drank water.
I felt free.
But, somewhere- right along with all my hope and good thoughts...
I saw you.
You didn't see me.
You have a way of looking right through me.
And I hate to feel it, but I do-
Invisible.
At the party I got in your way.
You were Wheeling your son in circles, his training wheels centering the bike-
and I stood too close.
The way you spoke to me, the way you asked me to move-
embarrasses me.
Pains me.
Then kills me.
And then your gone.
Tzitzis tucked out and wild.
And I'm watching you
and I marvel at how good it will feel...
To call you back.