So Grateful

I am so grateful that I get to watch you.
Curled hairs cut too short to unravel.
And your wearing the jeans I bought you in Switzerland.
That was then and this is now.
Then was adventure and twenty something year olds with new responsibilities.
Now is late nights at the office, brand new thirties and old, worn, responsibilities.
I try not to call you or interrupt your train of thought.
Sometimes I succeed.
At night when your blackberry is open-
I think I disappear.
Other times its not that easy.
Nothing is ever just a phone call away.
I have just one question and it repeats itself.
I have a few seconds to state my case.
And sometimes when we hang up I'm more confused that when I dialed your number.
Other times I take the sound of your voice with me.
I drag it through my day.
Your words, spoken softly- have a way of making me feel full.
But I'll be honest-
Sometimes it is just not enough.
I hang up and breath.
And your not there.
Your words have fallen short. Your response isn't the one I expected.
And worse- you sound like someone else.