Full On Sad

I drink fruit punch out of snack size cartons.

I cry in the shower.

I eat cookies in dozens. Eggs in twos.

I smile,

because I don't want to feel this sad.

I'm managing my anger.

I file it away in neat compartments,

"To eat now," To eat later," and "to not eat."

To eat now tastes like butter, Crisco and white bread.

To eat later,

tastes like chicken, noodles and vegetables.

To not eat,

tastes like words.

Words like "Deserve," and "Unforgivable."

But I'm not angry anymore-

I'm not even hungry anymore.

I'm just full.