Trust Me, It's A Fake

Trust is funny.

It makes me laugh, loud and fake.

My nine month old daughter does that now. She fake laughs.

"Here," we say, "I don't find you funny at all. Ha Ha Ha."

But, my daughter doesn't understand any of it. She laughs just because she wants to mimic us.

Ha, Ha, Ha.

Who is laughing now?

Who doesn't know how I have been bleeding?

So much I thought was real, feels fake now.

I hold onto my pillow as I surf myself to sleep.

Instead of peering out the window into the darkness of the night,

I google words like, "organic" and "natural" and try not to think until sleep hits me.

It's not dark in my head that way.

My brain is awash with light,

I try to fool my heart,

"It's not real," I say, "It can't be real."

Because Trust me, It's all fake anyways.