unresponsive and happy

You are happy.
I find myself trying to fit in somewhere amidst your happiness.
But, I'm too darn noticeable.

I pin you and you read my pins,
and you don't respond.
send. read. respond.
That never happens.
I send. you read.
no one responds.

You are happy.
And I find myself happy for you and lost for me.
Losing 30 pounds in one week and then eating Hershey's chocolates to
counteract weight loss and feeling lost.

Where are you? When you could be right here?
When I have folded back the covers for you,
and sent out all my pins?
And waited the wait of the restless woman,
because it's never getting any shorter or easier.

You work like mad. You toil, I toss.
You turn, I'm turning.
We just never seem to be in the same place at the same time.

You left me at home,
bound by my recent Cesarean.
Feeling lonely for you.

And watching your happiness prelude us.
I am so happy for you.
Because that's how I love you.
Unconditionally,
even when your love for me,
is unresponsive.