I Doubt It

Why don't you love me more? Miss me more?

Come and see the new holes I have made,

incisions replacing indecision's.

My motherhood, like a manhood mocked...

seems smaller now, and smaller still,

shrinking to fit a mold I am now forever in.

Those woman at the mall, those questions they ask,

are they rhetorical?

All natural? They used to wonder...

and only now, un natural- do I feel the world sting.

Why don't you see the holes and try to fill them?

Reason with love and rid me of this worry.

Find a way to hold me when you hands can't reach me.

Why?

It's the only question that haunts me.

This love, this madness, this passion that creates things.

Then daughters.

Then doubt.

Why don't you hold me in place and tell me you need me?

You see me.

You know me.

And that your right here beside me.

Because when I look,

I see myself shrinking and I'm scared you do too.