A lie is a nice place to live

I have come to the conclusion that if you can not lie to your friend, then she isn't a friend. Friends need honesty, sometimes brutal but they also need the naive shoulder to lean on. The one that feels like shoulder pads are back in and their cushioned, innocent remarks- appear sweet rather then contrived. And if you cant lie convincingly then you aren't trying hard enough.

Allow me to explain. I bumped into a "friend" the other day and she gave me such a slap of truth, I felt stung long after we parted. Here's the thing... I like being lied to by my friends. I have enough family telling me my truths as is.

This is a picture of me. I'll paint it for you. I usually end up leaving the house looking like I don't care. And I do. I care allot. I just cant try because trying breaks my spirit. So, I end up dressed from head to toe in black with something rushed flopped onto my head and no trace of make up. Not even residue from yesterday- because hey, I didn't wear makeup yesterday either.

When I bump into people I know, I feel ashamed. But, I can;t hide- so I say something like, "Oh I didn't think I would meet anyone. Look at me. I just ran out." Or the famous, "I don't usually look like this."

So, I bump into a friend on Friday and start off with a standard, "I didn't think I would see anyone."

Then she unleashes on me. Not with malice, but Icould feel her misplaced anger falling on my with intent. "You always say that and yet I never see you looking any other way." Then a pause, where she lets me fix my head covering and blink, "If you don't want to be seen the way you look, then don't dress like that."

Ah. The truth from a friend. Ouch! I actually think about not leaving the house, I think of telling her, but then who would I feel unworthy in front of. And G-d knows I need to feel unworthy.

So next time you see me. Would you mind? Just lie to me. I like it so much better.