I Exercised You Away

I finally got myself physical today. I worked out like never before. You know, the first workout of, where are we now? the year. I sweated you and your ugly comments away. I moved so far on my stationary machine that I only saw your outlined form lying in bed. I was so far that I could pretend you weren't real enough to hurt me.

I Exercised you away. I was working out for me. I felt so far, so free, so unlike the girl you have made me be. (a rhyme. a rhyme. I'll try again next time). I felt like myself when I pumped my legs. I felt like I was unattached to any errand or any plan I ever had for that day. And I just soared as I watched a repeat of Greys anatomy and my "calories burnt " moving across the screen. Even Sara Ramirez and her full figured popularity couldn't get in the way of my happiness.

That is until my five year old wandered into my moment of zen. I had to take off the blasting Grey's and work out with no outside distraction. Every second seemed to tick and all of a sudden I hated this workout. This pain. This idea I had to work out for a flipping hour. And my daughter asked just the wrong questions. Rhetoric's of Whys strung together to make me test my Patience and motherhood.

And I passed. With flying colors. I got off my machine and made a work out for us to do together. We used the toys as hurdles, the backyard park as a relay and her imaginative dance steps as a beat I had to follow. It wasn't the ideal "Me time" it wasn't as easy to pass time as watching Grey's is- but I accomplished a lot in not giving up or giving in.

And where are you? You are no where near me. It doesn't matter if I'm fat, or favoring solo workouts on a machine, or even making up an energetic dance with my daughter- I am no where near you.

And I am happy I can exercise you away. That there is something that I can do to run as fast as I can away from you. That even on a stationary bicycle, I can move.