Your Sister

I get the kids to bed.
I imagine myself falling apart when they are asleep. So they may still think I have it all together.
Such Innocence.
Their lunch divided into all pink containers of sweets and only their most favorite of foods.
Because their mother knows best, and often, and is always on time.

I get them into their beds and I race down to pour my words out.
Almost said, "my heart out." But, my heart is racing, beating too fast-
that I cant contain it and squeeze out words.
I can just push buttons.

Emergency Exits. Stop. Guilt. Sisters.

But, I am a mother first.

And I AM always there first.
I pull into the parking lot of my daughters school excited to see her every single day.
We have been apart for 6 hours and forty five minutes.
And every single day, I am the only mother brimming with excitement.

I have missed you, my daughter, for six hours and forty five minutes.

And my other two girls are still home bound. One is in school for three hours and the other hardly ever leaves my side.

Except now when they are in their beds, and I can be something other than their mother.
I can be someone I was before.

Your sister.