compromised

I fall hard.
Its happened before.
I find myself needing to take a shower and rid myself of your scent.
G-d how it follows me.
Its happening again.
You climb in any way you can.
I let you in,
because loving you is letting you.

Hold my hand,
I want to sing.
Hold my hand and heal me slowly.
And just like that I'm on the floor.

You are gone and in your absence,
I find the pieces of myself I let you touch.

So cruel, my friend, so cruel.
Pasts haunt and I scare you-
the way I am not just brilliant.
Not. Just. Brilliant.
Remember that when you remember me.

Man, you will say,
I never knew she could sing.
And I can.
Off key, uncharted- terrifyingly accurate notes.
Here's one:
I told you so.

And I'm on the floor. Knocked down.
Defeated.
Dreaming of tomorrow.

Yes, tomorrow I will eat grapes and
think thoughts of other things.

I am compromised.